Thank you all for your heartfelt replies.
Dear ((((((((((dps))))))))))), thank you for your friendship, it is very dear to me. I always make sure I read your posts, you too have helped me many times. From your posts I know that you too understand how it is to walk with a darkness that is thick and blinding.
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Sometimes the darkness feels as though it is suffocating and draining the life out of you and you wonder if there is any light. Many times that darkness seems to grab you from nowhere and no matter how hard you try to move just beyond it, it once again engulfs you.
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I thankfully am not a prisoner to this darkness as Fish is (who was unknown to us till recently), but I can feel its presence. I am back and a bit stronger again. Still trying to work out latest trigger. Searching the abyss for a needle in a hay stack. I'm so sorry you live in pain too.
And ((((((((Leed))))))))), yes,
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even if it was just to go to the mailbox. Baby-steps are progress too
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sometimes it really is about going back to basics, relearning how to pick up the ball after dropping it 'again'! Naive me thought I had taken my power back a long time ago, but clearly not all of me processed this. I'm sorry you too have had great pain in your life.
And lastly to ((((((((Sannah)))))))))) & (((((((embracinglife)))))))))), yes, still in therapy with two T's working weekly for a few years now. Thank you for riding out my latest upheaval with me. I appreciate your support.
Thank you again,
kp (Jenni)