thank you for the advice. heres my problem. a number of years ago i had what i considered at the time a very good doc. after a number of tsessions he recommended my taking three medications, which he believed would relieve the various problems i was (and still am) experiencing. what i remember most and what really scared me was that after i started the medications i lost the ability to feel anything at all. i couldn't cry. i never laughed. i was just this zombie person and i hated it even more than the way i am now. my most recent doc seems to understand my fear of being medicated and so prescribed ativan as something to take for panic attacks. we have not yet decided what other medications would best suit me. i have to admit that with the frequency of my panic attacks i'm medicated more than i'd like to be yet i'm afraid to take something on a daily basis again. i don't want to feel nothing. i dont know whats worse though, feeling nothing or everything.