I was going to post something very similar just now when I read this. While I'm not your age, I'm 36, I have this hopeless- It's never going to get better- attitude. I've never been to another country or seen any of the US. I don't think I'm going to. I think I'm going to die just as miserable as I am now. Things have been tough for years now and they are definitely not getting any better.

Today my biggest issue, other than not having enough money to pay our bills...... My husband and I can't afford daycare for our 5 & 10 year old, so someone has to be home to get the kids off the bus. I work a full time at a job I love and with people I love, but at half as much money I made 5 years ago. I'm back making what I did 15 years ago when I started in my profession. Anyway, I can't always leave to get my kids and then having them at my work isn't great. They are "ok" with my kids coming and all, but it can't be everyday. Just not professional. My husband works freelance and needs to work as much as possible. He is a photographer and does a lot of real estate photography. He is really busy right now and he can't pass up the work, but then there are the kids..... if he can make it to get the kids off the bus, then he might have to take them with him- which again is not professional. But then they have to stay in the car. Depending upon the weather, it is either too cold or too hot for them to stay in the car, not to mention that they are very much siblings and fight over EVERYTHING. So, there is the possibility of coming back to the car to a massive attack.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle. My son needs therapy and I need therapy, but we can't really afford one much less both. So, he comes first. I hate these days when the anxiety kicks in and I'm all jittery. I'm internally freaking out. I used to be able to hold myself together better, but as I get older, it is starting to seep out a little more each day.

Sorry for the long post. This probably wasn't the right place, but the release makes me feel better.