I'm living with my parents right now and it's absolutely driving me insane. I basically left home when I was 15 and I haven't stayed home for more than a couple months in years.
I HATE it here. My mother especially treats me like ****. She is an absolute snob. I have SO MUCH resentment for these people it is outrageous. I can not live here.

I was living with friends and as soon as I came back I was absolutely shocked by how I was treated. i forgot how horrible it is here. For example before I totally succumbed I tried to make brownies, it might have been 11pm but I thought it would have been fine. No, I got my head chewed off because of it. i thought it was a joke, I wasn't being loud and I didn't wake anyone up. The ONLY reason someone even said something was because it was me doing something abnormal. so I sat in my room and cried like I was 10 all over again. The only reason I wanted to make ****ing brownies was because I was depressed and felt like a piece of ****. BECAUSE OF THEM.

I am scared of everything again and have absolutely no confidence in my skills in simple things like cooking, not only that I'm AFRAID of doing something like cooking because I will hear someone say something about it. This has happened every single time i have come back home for more than a week.
I was out of here for almost a year and I was eating healthy I wasn't afraid of people, I was doing things like cooking and going shopping on my own. Now I am about 20 lbs lighter and can't stop drinking. i don't do anything but hide in my bedroom.

I have TRIED desperately to explain to my mother that I can not stand the way she treats me but she tells me it's not her it's me, that there is something wrong with me not her. Then she starts throwing a guilt trip about how she's tried blah blah. I try to tell her we need family therapy but again she tells me I'm the one with problems not her.

I'm going to leave again as soon as I can but this isn't healthy. I'm not healthy and the places I desperately run off too aren't healthy either. I'm just so sick of this. I feel so sick and tired, hungry, angry. I want to burn this place down i hate it so much. Good god I would feel so good if this place stopped existing.

I'm sitting here crying writing this and all I want to do is cook something to eat but I am too afraid to.