i think it's both by reading your thread, pgrundy. i get upset that so many ppl including you all are barely keeping their head above water. i won't offer advice i don't feel (it's just puff) cause your situation is real and it feeds into your depression. a vicious cycle unfortunately. i hope you'll keep posting if you feel like it. it may not fix anything but dispersing your feelings among us who care about you may help in some way.