i admire your courage. even here where i hope to find the acceptance i can't find anywhere else i still worry i'm being judged, i still have that unbelievable urge to punctuate every admission of what a mess i am with a sorry. i read your post and the replies and i realized its okay, here, okay to say just how bad you feel b/c every one understands and its not "your problem" anymore b/c everyone is here listening. and don't stop writing. i've been writing forever and i hate that feeling that can creep up, that its all been said before. don't give up. give it a week and go back to it and with fresh eyes you'll see just how beautiful it really is.