i feel like i'm going crazy. things have gotten so far out of whack with my therapist, and i don't know how to fix it.

i've had a lot going on lately, and have had to reach out to her more often than normal. i called her yesterday and asked for a call back, then i called back a little later and said that i was ok that she didn't need to call (which was true). i mulled it over and some other things surfaced, and then i started to feel overwhelmed again. and part of the problem is that my partner - who i'm having a lot of problems with lately - is seeing the same therapist. we live together, and it's difficult a lot of the time to find privacy to call when i need to.

at any rate, i decided that email was better, so i emailed my therapist instead. part of my point was to apologize for all the crazy phone messages, and i didn't want to leave another crazy phone message saying "sorry for leaving crazy phone messages."

(and if you're still following along, i'm impressed!)

so. i emailed her and said the bit about the messages, and asked also for something i could "hold onto" as i feel like i'm struggling to make it to my appointment on thurs. she emailed me back (and this whole emailing thing is relatively new to our relationship) saying she didn't know what happened between my call at 4:15 and my email at 5:02, but basically here's some support anyway. i've never known her to be mindful of the time (in fact, she strikes me as the type of person that would do away with clocks altogether if she could), so it really bothered me. i sent her an angry reply, basically asking if there was a more acceptable time frame to have changes in feelings, etc. she wrote me back and apologized. i wrote her again saying thank you and that perhaps we should talk tonight (this was all last night) as i didn't want to leave things the way the were. i told her it was "her call, literally."

maybe this wasn't the clearest way to say it, but either way - she never called. i emailed her again last night, basically apologizing for making a mess of things and that i understood if the relationship was over (that's where i go with things when there's conflict). it's now the next day, and i haven't heard from her at all. how do i interpret this? is it really over??

i should note that i've been working with her for two years, and despite a few bumps in the road, we've had a fairly solid relationship. i like her more than most people in this world, and it would crush me not to continue seeing her (despite my knee-jerk reaction of thinking things are always over).

doea anyone have any feedback, opinions, words of advice???