I know exactly how you feel, except that suicide doesn't bother me nearly so much.

At the end of the day its your life and noone should be telling us how to live it because it might hurt people around you, its emotional blackmail and a degree of slavery.

Why should i have to hurt all the time to spare everyone else from thinking about me? - the opposite should be true as well, i shouldnt have to hurt.

I agree with mudgey, your boyfriend sounds like a jerk but sometimes knowing that on an intellectual level doesn't help emotionally. I still miss Sandra every moment of every day despite the fact that she treated me like **** and threw me away when she didn't need me any more