Granite I am just now seeing your post. I am smiling and crying at the same time does that make sense?

I wonder if maybe she was talking loud becuase she thought you might be going away (dissociating), and she wanted you to stay with her.

I hope that you will be going back to give thsi a chance - it's obvious she is giving you a lot of thought and that she cares and wants to help.

PS I really liked this!! >> she wants me to trust that i can handle this and so can she