Hi Laura. I'm kind of revolted/turned-off by the idea of sex with anyone I do not have a deep emotional connection with, but once I have that connection I love the touching and sex. Since your adult relationships have been so short, maybe you haven't formed deep enough love and trust to engage that sexual component in your mind. It's totally possible that you could have a great sexual relationship if you met the right person and had the right feelings involved.
I don't think you're a total freak or that something is really wrong with you.
I also don't believe enjoying sex should be such a requirement for being normal and healthy. I can't think of any other activity we're all expected to universally enjoy and want to engage in. I think that pressure from society is wrong, honestly. Maybe you just prefer to have deep, meaningful friendships instead of sexual relationships. That's OK too.
The hypersexual thoughts with manic episodes are so common that I wouldn't really worry about them, as long as you're not acting on them and engaging in risky behavior.
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