you know- its to the end stage where Id just rather see my own self out of this place then to wait dumb and blind for the kick.
Too tired and shamed to wait for the blow- i rather do it to myself and see it coming and pick the time.
Been here before of course - but I cant stand the being part of being here again- anymore.
Life and death can hang in the use of the language - its a tool thats hideous and also gorgeous and also cuasative and emotive and deadly. I am a fool to have gone near it and tried my voice.
I want to be gone and without a trace of documentary evidence that i ever came through here. Thats my choice. Not possible to erase the evidence of a life but the other I CAN do. I have that right. Peace.