Quote:
Originally Posted by sanityseeker
I totally agree with you. I think among all the other symptoms anxiety is the worst of the worst to work through. It can flare up so fast or cling on so tight that whether constant or sudden it makes day to day life a zillion times more difficult.
I wonder if you aren't being too hard on yourself here? Nay.... you would never to that.  Perhaps if you were to recognize the component of self care avoiding actually represents in your recovery you might look at it differently.
I know when my anxiety was at its worse for a long period of time, both constant and triggered suddenly, like yours is now, that the list of things I 'needed' to avoid to prevent a meltdown seemed to grow every day. It was upsetting to me when people, with all good intentions, would tell me I had to stretch out of my cocoon. I knew they were right on some level but I also knew I needed to avoid additional triggers that I knew from experience I might not be able to mange without an episode. Avoid; prevent.... they are not so very different. It is a matter of perspective, timing and balance don't you think?
One thing I have been learning along the way is that I have gotten so accustomed to retreating and avoiding situations that are known triggers that it became automatic. I now make a point of checking in with myself faced with a new challenge. when challenged to step out to see if I might be able to cope after all. By checking in with myself I am able to differentiate between habit and self care. My immediate response to retreat is challenged with compassion. If I think I am up for it then I give myself that extra bit of encouragement and I venture outside my safety zone. If I am not up for it, well that is okay too. Maybe next time. Recovery is one baby step at a time.
I think when we show ourselves kindness, shower ourselves with compassionate, express self love and practice good self care that we are better able to hear the nurturing voice inside of us encouraging and comforting us along the way.
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Thanks so much again ((((((((((ss)))))))))) I really appreciate your support. Not to mention your wisdom. I do agree that avoidance can be self-care. But then, as you say, avoidance can cross over into habit and you get stuck. And that feels like where I'm at: in the stuck place.
Another thing I have a huge problem with is guilt. I feel so guilty for certain things that I am avoiding and the effect this has on people I care about. It's getting to a point where the guilt is almost as bad as the anxiety about doing the thing I'm avoiding. I'm not sure if this is progress or not?!?!?!
How were you able to recover from your anxiety when it was at it's worst? Did the mood stabilizer help with that? Or did you do something else?
Thanks so much for sharing.
