(((((geez)))))

Termination of therapy, for whatever reason, is difficult. That's why I tried to start a "termination of therapy" social group but there wasn't enough interest in it. But it's part of therapy; unless you go for years and years to one T, it's going to happen at some point.

I've terminated with 4 Ts. The first time was my decision, but it was too sudden. I don't suggest that route; I was miserable and spent most of my time with my second T talking about the first one! I shoultn't have quit; I saw her for almost 4 years but I wasn't finished. We never said good-bye though I went back 2 years later for a couple of sessions which helped.

The next time I terminated therapy because my T moved. I wasn't so attached to her so it wasn't so difficult.

The next T I terminated with had what I thought was the best way to do it! We spent the last month or maybe more, going over past sessions. She had notes and I had my journals. We went over the highlights of each session. It was amazing for me! Some we skimmed over; some I read what I had written. When I left, she allowed me to call her, which eventually turned into email. I didn't abuse it because I felt therapy was "finished" that time.

My most recent T, whom I saw for close to 7 years total, was hard to leave. I spent the last 2 years winding down, though I really didn't want to. We did it gradually, every 2 weeks, every 3, and finally every month. But there was no summary of therapy until the last regular session. After that, it was supposed to be "as needed". It was hard; I still thought I needed her every few months and that didn't seem to be enough.

I should be experienced with all this termination! I realized that most of the time the way I dealt with the big empty feeling was to get back into therapy again. Do you feel like you still need/want more therapy? Then you could do as embracing suggests and find someone with a sliding scale.

Back to how to cope with leaving your T. Will you be able to contact her via email or phone when you're done? That could help make the transition easier. Can you afford, or would she let you come back once in a while? My T said "check in" sessions would be good for me, but the reality is that I still need to be in weekly therapy with someone. But maybe knowing you could see her sometimes would make it easier for you?

I think tapering off slowly is a good idea. I also suggest writing down everything you would regret not telling her before you are done, and making sure you tell her. Or ask her.

It IS a loss, and grieving for your T will be normal. Accepting that it will hurt is probably helpful. Can you ask your T to help with the transition too? Maybe plan to make her something as a goodbye present?

I hope some of this is helpful. Sorry I rambled on so much!