Greetings, everyone!

I have been lurking here for a few weeks now and thought it was finally time to say hello. It's been really nice to see how much kindness and support there is from (and between) so many of you. I hope to contribute too!

If I may, I just wanted to share about where I am with T right now. I just started seeing a new one about six weeks ago. He was recommended by my former T, whom I saw for ten years; my former T and I finally agreed that we had done all the work we could do together and it was time for me to move on. So now it's the new guy, and it's HARD.

Don't get me wrong: new T is good, I can tell he's incredibly competent and thoughtful, and that helps me trust him. He's been supportive so far, even though we don't know each other very well yet. But honestly, I am feeling sad about how intense the boundaries are. With my former T, he would talk to me in between sessions if I was in crisis; he would hug me after a session; I felt his love and deep caring for me. With new T, no phone calls except regarding appointments; no self-disclosure on his part (he just asks me why I asked); no touch (he actually backs away from the door when I'm walking out, as if I'm going to lunge for a hug).

I knew this about him going in, so it's not like I'm caught by surprise. But the more vulnerable I feel in there, the more we talk about things that hurt so much and leave me raw at the end of a session, the harder it is to go without what I used to have, like my old T's smile or reassuring words or hand on my shoulder, and the knowledge that I could call him if I really needed to. New T's philosophy is pretty much that comfort/nurturing needs should be met outside therapy, which makes me miss that small bit of comfort I used to get with former T...not to mention the safety I felt knowing that he cares about me so much.

I decided that for next week, I'm going to ask my boyfriend to come over in the evening after therapy is over, and let him take care of me a bit. He's very supportive, so I think that will help. Plus writing about it all really makes a difference, I can tell already.

Anyway, thanks for reading/listening. And feel free to throw in your two cents. Do you ever feel deprived of care/nurturing/support in T, and what do you do about it?

I hope everyone is well tonight--good to be here.