<font color="purple"> Yes... This is all I have known. I am more afraid of healing and feeling "normal" or true joy, than I am of my illnesses. There is a security in the familiar, even if the familiar isn't healthy. I think it has a lot to do with feeling vulnerable, letting the guard down, learning to trust and such. Maybe even having to let go of that feeling that at any minute the ball is going to drop... Not sure I am making much sense here. Sorry if I am not. My thoughts tend to get all jumbled as they travel down from the brain.... But the answer yes...
Melinda </font>