new years day and i feel like a failer. Cant even vacum right. I got talked to for my vacuming at work. Stupid me i know better than to skip over stuff. Plus the vacums dont suck up anything and u haft to go over the same spot 3 times before its spotless. Its all my fault for the vacuming. Also its my fault for the rooms not getting done. If you havent guess i work at a hotel. I was too slow. TO TO TO slow. I am the cause of all the problems there. And i could not tell my boss how i felt, cause i caused it so no brainer there if u caused it ur to blame and ur the one who gets talked to and if u done it right then nothing would of happened. In plan lamens terms I DID IT WRONG.

So i guess your saying why are u posting this in bipolar, why not general or depression or Self injury (i will get to that)? I am posting it in here cause im off the prozac FOR GOOD, and my mood is swinging back and fourth. Two days ago i was a hyper happy girl, now all i want to do is cut and croak. In by no ways is this a suicide note cause well its not. I dont want to get up tomorrow. Im going to call in tomorrow cause of everything. So for two days i have been slowly going down. I want to cry but i cant cause whats there to cry about. So in the bathroom at work i took a pocket nife ( my trusted friend) and made a big ole cut on the leg, its deep to, i know i need stitches but since i have no insurance now, i wont get it. I been to the doctor way to many times anyway. I might just do a butterfly stitch and use bandaids to close it up. If the bloody thing would stop bleeding so much.
Well i think im going to curl up in my little fat ball and just think about how stupid i was. Just think about the world and how much of a thorn i am to it.

Happy new year to me i guess.