I just realized that I have a Dr.'s appointment coming up on the anniversary of one of my brother's death.

Blood will be drawn that day and instead of thinking of "what killed them" I am going to take your advice and think about how these tests are monitoring my health so that I can live.

Live for me, and in some strange way, for them.

I will try and make peace with the past that day.

Thank you all,

Petunia