Xacatecas I want to have the power to hand you back your happiness.I cannot....I hope you never give up the fight of finding and claiming it.I have to say ....I am like you......Do you want honesty? Because I can't lie.The truth of the matter is....and you just happened to catch me at a crisis moment...where in this moment I just don't care...I have no hope.No will to live.But I am a mum......and I was at birth.All I ever have wanted was to be a caretaker.People,animals,plants,causes.I take care of anything in which I see a weakness...things that seem to need an arm across their shoulder....I am not bragging ,because I do it to my detriment.There is one thing......just one....which keeps me ...or thus far,has kept me from finishing this mess of a thing I call banishment to the earth.....that is the legacy it'd leave to my son.Other than that...my day to day existence is hell.Has been since birth.That is the Gods honest truth.Every time I open my heart...I get burned.My home life is fraught with turmoil....I can't even sleep in safety.And every single human I have ever trusted has burnt me down.But what you see here is the wholeness which clings ....I give the things I need.I do what I want done to me.Sometimes it comes back.I have yet to 'get it' that everyone is going to harm me.I apologize for this...I know I will be ok in an hour....I will want to be mother to all the broken people in this cold ,cold world.But if loving is the only power I have to change the reality of the world I live in .....the world you live in...it is all I own.It is all I have to give.The only thing I can control.Whether or not I love.Whether or not I forgive.Or reach a hand out and ask..."Hey,are you alright? Do you need a hug?Are you hungry? Let me feed you."You know?.....It is this or just lay down and die.And it is all a human can do.All I can give.I am sorry to be crude,but the timing was very bad.I don't want sympathy.Just answering the question.There you have it.~W~