"I have a question. You said that after 10 years you and your T decided it's time to move on. Why? Do you need something in particular that the new T can provide that your old T can't? Is the "no touch", no contact in between sessions something that your old T thinks you need to have in order to heal? If not, or even if it is, why did you have to switch? If you liked your former T's style, why do you want to see someone who won't be like him? Is he a specialist in something you need?"

First, thanks so much to everyone for your kind messages and welcome! It's nice to be here.

So, about those questions. I needed to move on from my old T for some time before I actually did. Despite the fact that he is very nurturing and loves me, I simply wasn't able to get at the stuff I need to work on. He has a very loose, easy style (while maintaining appropriate, but not rigid, therapeutic boundaries); this style was good for me toward the beginning of our work, when I was working on feeling safe with men and on early trauma. But now, I need a bit more structure, I need someone who is able to challenge me more and keep me focused on the areas of my life I want to improve now. And I just couldn't do that with old T.

Even though I have trouble with the distance/boundary aspect of new T's style, he is VERY smart and doesn't let me use humor or chit-chat as an avoidance tactic like I often did with old T. He keeps me right in the work we really need to be focusing on, and that's critical for me in a T now. So it's a trade-off I need to make...but that doesn't mean I'm not sad about the loss of the warmth and connection I felt with old T.

Maybe I've made new T seem like a cold fish, which he isn't at all. He's especially kind when I'm talking about something hard. Also, it's early days yet--over time there may be more of a sense of connection with new T. Time will tell.

I hope that makes sense! I'm SURE I'll be posting about how it's going. Thanks so much to you all for being here! Take good care of yourselves and enjoy the day.