I never knew my father, and never (consciously at least) thought about it or what it meant. I met him at age 33 and he died shortly thereafter.
I wrote a poem, "The Fatherless Child"....if anyone is interested.
www.soulpoetry.org is my site (it doesn't have that poem on it, but has a few others).
All you can do is grieve and feel grateful for what you had.
Could you write a letter to your dad?
Lots of hugs and Love, Marie