Just for some more background, I see a shrink once every three weeks, and a mental health worker once a week. Both were very helpful in the begining. My mental health worker and I have been at a stand still for a while now. She says every behavior is a choice, and I just have to choose to stop. But it's not that easy, other wise I would have. At times I can't even control the words that come out of my mouth. I hear myself saying them and just want to shut up. But I keep saying them. My shrink also says he's done as much as he can as far as medication goes and says he doesn't know what else he can do. I do all of the things they both suggest, rational thinking, etc, but I just am not getting any better. I live in a very small town and travel 1 hour to get to small city that has mental health services, and to get to another one would be another two hours. I have considered a different shrink/therapist, but it just isn't doable because of the distance. I just want to be normal and not worry about this 24/7. I constantly have this knot in the pit of my stomach all the time. When there are so many beautiful women in the world, why would he want to be with me. Even as I write this, I know how silly it must seem to others, just as I don't understand anorexia and other problems people have, but it eats away at me. And I am probably going to loose this great guy because of it. Thank you for your in-put, it's always so nice to talk to some one about it.