When i finally thought my mother would be there to support me and help me get better. She lied. We've been getting in arguements eversince i visited Ugent Care. She keeps denying that there was nothing wrong with me and how i was acting like a drug addict. She was the one who insisted that i was depressed and took me to see a doctor to get anti-depressants. I just asked her when we need to pick the meds up, because it was on high alert, only once i asked her. From that she thinks i am acting like a drug addict. Anything that revolves around me and anti-depressants makes her explode in rage and scream something along the lines of: "You're just being lazy!I jumped back up from when i was 'depressed'" Or "Your ******* 17, get your head straight! It's not like your getting straight A's! Why the hell are you stressed or depressed for?!"
And just a week ago, she was hugging me and telling me it'll be alright and she understands. She's a nurse--A NURSE; she should know why the hell i act this way and what i need. My mother apparently thinks that I am a perfectly normal and not "pyscho" like everyone else who have depression, and i am not capable of getting any mental diseases because she herself is normal(I'm starting to question that).
I probably sound like a kid, but resent her. One might say that she is reacting this way because she loves me, but the things she say makes me doubt it. She is being very insensitive towards me, and i know people say things they don't mean when they are angry, but people do have self controlled, which she severly lacks. She once screamed at me, asking why i hadn't commited suicide yet, if i was think about it.
I mean really, is that something you say to a depressed person? My suicidal thoughts resided when she told me that everything will be ok, last week, but when she said that, it came back stronger....
My father is the only one who seems to be considerate towards my feelings and understand why i feel this way. But it seems like the constant screaming from my mother is canceling out his support.
I don't know what to do.
I hate this.
I hate my life.