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Old Mar 03, 2011, 12:30 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: NJ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse View Post
You know, weirdly, this is how Touch started in my therapy, except T was the one who sneaked it in.

I was having a panic attack, my first ever, and he was so calmly and gently working to help me through it. At one point, he was giving me something smooth (like a stone) to hold in my hand, and as he placed it in my hand, he very deliberately touched the palm of my hand with the tips of this fingers.

When he sat down, he asked if I had noticed. I said yes. He asked how it felt, and I said okay, which REALLY surprised me, because up until that point, NOT EVER TOUCHING T was a huge huge huge thing in therapy for me.

He asked if I wanted to try to touch fingertips and we leaned across the room and touched fingertips and everything stopped feeling so crazy and I felt back in the room, and grounded, and connected. It was like being physically connected to T and all of his CALM somehow brought me back to the calm place.

Now I am really comfortable with touch with T...but I still think sometimes about how that all happened.

I do think that having touch in therapy takes away the mystery of "what would it be like?" and makes it a non-issue - at least for me. I'm glad that I don't have to wonder about that, because I could see it getting really big in my head.

Wow, Tree....it's ironic, because lately I have been having dreams of T and I touching fingertips....not sure what that's about, but the idea of it elicits such anxiety for me. I am sure I could explore that and come up with a lot of feelings and explanations for those feelings....but I don't feel brave enough to address it.

You would think that in my dreams, I would at least feel some kind of wonderful feelings about it....but it doesn't. I don't think I'd characterize it as a bad feeling...but definitely an emotional reaction.

I wonder if I'd ever get the courage to address it with T. I'm sure a lot could come out of it, if I wasn't so scared.
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