Mama8 and Kimmy, Thanks for your input. BIL called last night to apologize for the " misunderstanding ". I explained to him that HE had nothing to apologize for and there was NO misunderstanding.

He went on to say he believes there was a cultural misunderstanding and my SIL was simply engaging in a " philosophical " conversation about my daughters " weight " problem ( his words ). I explained that my daughter does not have a weight problem and I disagreed on his spin on the problem. I told him I thought his wife was rude and inappropriate. I told him she had no business even talking to me about my daughters size be it big or small. I told him that I know he loves our kids and we love him. I told him I do not feel the same about his wife as she is relatively new to the family which is all the more reason she should not be discussing these things with me in such a maligning way. We agreed to disagree as he continued to support his wife.

SIL got on the phone to apologize for the " "misunderstanding ". I told her there was no misunderstanding!!! I told her in order for us to move forward, boundaries must be put in place. I asked her, in the future, to refrain from saying anything about my kids, my husband and myself unless it's nice. (covering all my bases while I have a chance!!! ) I told her she hurt my feelings and is not allowed to talk to me this way again. I accepted her apology and we hung up.

Glad that's over! I felt good about getting all that stuff off my chest. I felt I may have been a little harsh as I stink at confrontation. This comes from growing up in a super-dysfunctional family where I had no rights and was NEVER able to express my opinions for fear of punishment. It has been a lifelong struggle.

I did it the best I could.

I would like to thank all you kind, understanding people for helping me deal with this problem. I appreciate it more than I can say. Happy New Year!