^^Yes, actually.

I *am* pretty sensitive to being told what I already know, or offered help I don't need; it isn't just my husband. My first reaction in such a case is usually to think to myself (and sometimes say out loud) "I am NOT stupid, dammit."

Which usually gets a confused, "Of course not. Nobody thinks you're stupid."

In fact, hubby asked me tonight, "Who thinks you're stupid?" He assumes it is connected to my having been abused in the past. Which is a logical assumption, but I'm not sure that's all there is to it. I think I might give off some kind of "vibes" that make people think I'm a dummy in need of special help. I told my husband, in answer to his question, that anytime someone tells me what I already know, or steps in to "help" me without giving me a chance first, or hovers over me long after I'm doing fine on my own, the assumption is being made that I'm stupid. My logic is this: When an opportunity comes up to tell me something, I would want the other person to think, "Well, she seems to be a reasonably intelligent, competent woman. I'm sure she doesn't need me to tell her this basic, common-sense, elementary fact any typical four-year-old already knows, so I'll keep quiet." But the fact that they do not keep quiet and instead do tell me those basic, elementary facts suggests to me that the opposite is true. To that person I do *not* seem like a reasonably intelligent, competent woman. It follows, then, that they think I'm stupid.

And this has always bugged me. It's a lifelong struggle.