Charmin - I've been in your EXACT shoes before....many times before. Im really glad you are seeing a counselor privately. I do recommend marriage counseling as well. The good news is you have a 50/50 shot at being right. Since you have found no evidence yet of true "cheating" and all you have is your mind and gut feeling then it is only a 50% chance you are right. Thats better than being 100% right.....you may be wrong. This might all be in your head and you can work that out with your therapist OR your gut feeling may be right on target. I hope you are wrong and everything is okay but just keep in mind....if you need to calm yourself down when you panic and worry, just remember hat it's only 50% chance that she is betraying you...it's not 100% chance. This should be a little comforting at least.