(((Dreamer))) and (((Dexter))) I know exactly where you both are, wondering why we didn't wave at each other!

Please keep posting. It is a way to continue. Of course it isn't the best life way, but it works in the meantime of your getting well. I wish to shae something my T taught me to repeat to myself over and over:
NOT NOW. When you reach lower than low and wish to end it all, say NOT NOW.

The rationale is that we always have the option of ending our lives. Many people don't understand how we NEED this option; it helps us get through the suffering. Our best we can do is put it off. NOT NOW helps us to put it off. No one knows what is next. We depressed believe that it will only get worse but that doesn't matter it is bad right now and we feel like we just can't do this any more.

Just thought you'd wanna know.

Please research anything I suggest before believing...