SS I am deeply sorry that your mom left so long ago. It must have been very difficult for you. The story you told about letting go means a lot to read. Thank you for sharing it. I so agree with your partner. He sounds very, very wise.
I think I more completely let go of my father somewhat by accident. 28 years after he passed I was trying to clear out my home of old things that are no longer of use to me. I came across something I bought for a dollar. I did not realize at the time that it was a memorial candle. I just bought the candle because it was only a dollar. I kept it in my home collecting dust for many years. When I was trying to clear things from my home, a purge if you will, I came across the candle and decided I had been foolish to have saved it for all this time.
I decided to light and dedicate it to the person whose had passed and whose day and month of birth was closest to the current date. I thought for a moment about what the date was. I then realized it was the anniversary of my fathers birthday. I lit the candle in the name of great love for him. Knowing he was doing well where he was.

And, yes, your boy's hungry tummy surely does come first !!!!!