Hi Miss Laura, it's a good thing that you are talking to us.

I know the feeling when you know what you can do to help yourself, but just can't seem to make yourself move in the right direction. I once took it so far that in a moment it seemed impossible to move at all, ever, and then a second passed, and I took a breath, and I realized that I can get out of bed, and on a next breath I did. I guess you could say it was a form of meditation. (and meditation is great, btw, people have helped thmselves tremendously with it)

Weird as it sounds, I think it's good that you are "sick of being bipolar/depressed/ill/me/human", except for that last part because it looks to me that you have no idea how powerful "human" really is. Because being sick and tired means that maybe you had enough and crave a change.

We let ourselves be convinced that our diagnosis is us, that it is some life-sentence. "You are depressed. That's what you are" "You are bipolar."

We believe we are pre-determined, by our genetics, by our biology, by our history, and that's not true it turns out. There is a whole new science, weird stuff scientists are discovering about the nature of reality and nature of human. And from that it looks like our diagnosis is not a sentence in convicting us in a prison sense, but merely a sentence in a grammatical sense, just a description of our present state.

I am not saying you can say "I am no longer bipolar" and fly off to a new happy life, just like that, but you know that some bipolar people can function better than you, and at one point in the past you did too. I believe there is plenty rather amazing evidence how person's belief can change their "diagnosis".

Life is worth it, dear Laura, if you let go of the belief that there is no hope and you can't change anything. I bet if you think about it, you will find quite a number of things you can change. For example, you can follow your friend's advice and get out more often. Do you see how it is your own belief that is stopping you from making yourself feel better? Kick that belief. For you!

HUGS