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Miss Laura · Mar 03, 2011, 10:36 PM

Thanks Joy1010,

I am good at giving advice out but not listening or accepting advice- catch 22.

I am as you can tell still wide awake.... watching tv and sitting on here. I know I have to keep going but for how long?

I know as a Mother you probably side with my Mum on the whole staying in bed scenario. I think I have referred to her and I's relationship being "stormy" in a post to you. I am no angel and have never proclaimed to be. We rub eachother up the wrong way ALL the time.

Wednesday afternoon when I came home from my meeting all I wanted was my Mum to come over and hug me. She never did. I do not like physical contact and this is prob the reason.

Thursday evening my friend gave me a card and on the front cover it says "This is a hug...." and shows a bear holding his arms out for hugging. Inside says "It's here when you need it" and she wrote "To Laura, just to let you know that whatever happens we all love you! Remember you are amazing and sometimes I think we forget to tell you just how great a friend you are, this is to remind you! Lots of Hugs(even though you will not readily accept them, haha!!) Katriona xxx p.s. your beautiful when you smile "

I cried and still am reading it. I texted her and said I will cherish it and that I will put it in with my mood diary so if I need a hug I can get it there.

I don't know why I can't take physical contact from someone but can take a massage.... I am a freak see!!!

Joy, I hope as a Mother you can see being here isn't easy no matter what and who you are. I want my Mum to just hug me, but I don't want to ask for it. She asks me if I am ok and I always reply "Ye fine" as what's the point... I get lectured on "cheering" up and getting on with my life.

Sorry this kinda sounds like a rant and it's not meant to be!!