miss laura, you have helped many of us along the way.  just know i'm thinking of you during this difficult time. i know just how u feel. i have episodes too but they are not often. taking my meds wards off those mood swings. i hope you will take them, too. it can balance your bp and will eventually bring u back to a good spot. hope that happens for you soon. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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