hannie  have you contacted your pdoc? i'm thinking you need his/her help. i'm so sorry you feel helpless and hopeless. i've been there. sometimes the depression overrides my meds. it makes everything seem doom and gloom. but by getting help or using the professional help i have has made the difference in my fairly balanced life now re moods.
hope this helps. you are reaching out to us. i know our support is only part of the equation so please get the help you need.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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