mecco, may i ask why u went off your meds? have u contacted your pdoc? often times i need to reach out for help. i'm no professional but from what you describe it may very well be bipolar. i'd seek help, imho. you don't have to have those severe mood swings and meds help many of coupled with therapy. it changed my life.  i no longer have to struggle for the most part. hope you will consider these options.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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