I am glad I made you feel nice. I firmly hold the belief that all litle girls are princesses and all woman are just grown up princesses. Makes my husband want to vomit when I say that. We deserve to be treated well. We deserve love. We deserve happiness. I think you are on the right track with your thoughts. Having you son grow up with a good example will make him a good man. even if your husband continues his ranting and raving he will see that it isn't right and there is a better way to be. You have the power to give that to him and at the same time give something wonderful for yourself. Of course in a bad marriage there are two sides. Of course you have done and said things that weren't the best. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions. You can hope and wish and put yourself thru hell waiting for him to change but he can't change what he doesn't see is a problem. It is NOT your fault. He doesn't accept responsibility for his actions and you shouldn't either. You take care of yourself and your son. You can't be responsible to another who won't be responsible for themselves.
I have had many friends in trouble and I would do anything for anyone if they need help. (took me years to take care of myself first and realize only then could I be a good help) I have also had to walk away from people that I loved very much. If someone needs help but only can drain the life from you to get thru then they will never get better. I have told these people that I am always here for you but only when you want to do something to help yourself. I cannot hold you up if you won't even try to walk. I then walk away and most of the time I never here from them again which makes me sad but at the same time you can be a wonderful support but you can't have a life if you are living as a crutch.
It sounds like you are getting some clarity and finding hope for your future. I am glad for that.
Heidu