I am in mind today, hardly able to talk or do. not all days are like this. I am 60.
In my life last 10 yrs I have done much inner work and more recently, meditation.
A traumatic event 5 mos ago triggered an avalanche of all the trauma I have gone through since childhood. now I understand due to life of many traumas - and having this trapped deep emotion, well I never knew,until now, this was my biggest block to maintaining a state of presence and inner joy.

I am not able to work at this time. My outer world sort of crumbled and I am not sure how to put it back together again, but a glimmer of hope, of light still in my awareness. And my focus has turned to healing and finding the joy that does exist inside all of us, even when we do not see it.

The post by VoidOfCourse I relate to on deeper levels, as well as some of the replies. Thank all of you for sharing. Here, in this forum, a place to feel less isolated. Grateful.

Someone that cares deeply, that witnessed this recent trauma, that I rarely talk to, gifted to me working with an energy healer, an intuitive psychotherapist whose focus is healing energy using non traditional methods.
We do not dive into my past traumas nor even the recent one...however she recommended to me Belleruth Naparstek, author and therapist.
I am reading Invisible Heroes- Survivors of Trauma and How they Heal.
Belleruth Naparstek.

So, I share this womans name here, to anyone reading my post...perhaps it will mean something significant to you, a path to follow, just planting a seed.

In gratitude for all of you here, love and light to us all, Kashia