Have you considered talking to your doc/pdoc about how you are feeling? We are not a Suicide Hotline, we can listen but there isn't much more than that we can do, and it seems you need to talk to a professional in a Behvioural Health Dept., perhaps at a local hospital, and/or call a Suicide hotline too
Going on like this is not necessary in today's times, you can get professional help. I amsorry to hear you are feeling so down and all, but you need to get help, many of us have had suicidal thoughts and even close to carrying it out, but seeking someone to help was what most of us do, nothing is worth dieing for, believe me. . .I've been there, I know.
Please get some professional help, you are given one life, live it !!

Sincerely,
"darkeyes"

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON