It is a lot to keep up with. I agree, SS. At least I'm with you all in spirit, even if I can't digest and respond to as much as I'd like. The stages that Sundog recounted remind me of Portia Nelson's poem, Autobiography in Six Chapters. Despite the title, it's a very short read (six sentences). A similar idea, that becoming conscious of our actions and choices is a gradual process, that comes with repetition. I became aware this week of my "inner brat" (as I lovingly call her), really resisting taking any action or doing any practice that might bring relief. I wanted relief easily, with no effort on my part. Finally, a moment arrived of feeling the pain I was causing myself by resisting. Something broke open a little. I've been able to pop into the present moment more often today, and, at least for today, avoid the usual mental traps of "awfulizing" every task in front of me. It's so easy to get caught again and again by the tricks and delusions of the mind. I think of Pema Chodron's advice on meditation practice, "And don't believe your thoughts, and don't believe your thoughts, and don't believe your thoughts".

(((((Sundog)))))), I'm sorry for the loss of your father.