Thank you for your caring post ((Nola22)) - you really have a way with words. On my profile, it explains a little more about the initial problem which caused a rift. When it first happened I was more than fair and even offered him the house we live in, as long as I could get a smaller house. I gave him a year to figure it out and now it's gone on for yrs. He's just fine living this way, the way he pleases and doesn't care if I don't like it. He thinks I can ignore that part of our lives and be content with living the same lifestyle. I even promised I could remain civil and keep things normal between him and the kids.

This is the initial reason I came to PC - no one in my real life knows about this big secret - him taking another wife. I don't even think he sees her anymore because he's here every night. He would hate it if I told anyone because it would force him to answer to them and I would suffer the wrath. I only have my brother 4 provinces away and he's older and has a heart condition - it would worry him too much to know what's happening.

I really am a very fair person in real life but he's the most impossible, frustrating person. He cares the most about himself. If I force divorce on him, I fear what kind of revenge he would take. Before I came here I was so stressed from the pressure of keeping this a secret. I swear it's a story worthy of being on the Oprah show or a best selling book.

He doesn't want me, but doesn't want to give up control either. The biggest mistake was not finishing my university education, so I could support my children. I believed he would never hurt me. I was also warned by some friends before I got married, that he would end up hurting me and they were right. This is one case where my instincts were wrong. Thank you again Nola.