I wish life were easier for all of us. I'm so sorry about your T and everything else you have lost. Its ok to cry when you lose something you care about. It hurts. And there's no way around that. But remember there can be better in the future, you can get your T back, you can get a job again, it will take time but it's all possible for you.

I care about you, Im sorry you're not getting care irl, and hope things get better soon