Chodron is wonderful. I've checked out 3 or 4 audio DVD's of hers from the library. Sundog, I so thoroughly relate to the feelings you describe, the lack of faith and belief that the ability and power is within, to handle life's problems, and the belief that I cannot truly, deeply change, that I'm too broken, it's gone on too long, etc. I get so hooked by these thoughts. But every now and then, they fall away, like the Wizard of Oz being revealed behind the curtain. I hope for us that we come to see our true shining natures, claim our strength, and dwell there, not so tossed about by the emotional waves.