There is actually a really good book my bf's therapist suggested we both read. It's called the 5 love languages (I think). You go through the five basic ways people feel needed. Like some people appreciate being told "I really enjoy your company" while others enjoy coming home to dinner made or a little note. Everyone responds differently to different actions. And so a person might be doing things THEY think are appreciative...but it's not the other's style so they don't really get those appreciative feelings. I think it helped me and my bf learn what to do to let the other know we really do appreciate each other. Like I came downstairs the other day and he had written a note on our dry erase board that said "you are the best "

Usually I make him lunch and get coffee ready the night before cause he has to wake up at 3:45 am for work so I wait til he falls asleep and do everything for him so he can have a good morning.