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Originally Posted by VoidofCourse
Omy goodness - can I identify....
I have some serious thinking to do. Very serious.
and you're right if I could have done it I would have long ago. I have new Drs. now and the "therapy" I'm getting is not for psychiatric issues. I'm not sure if I could get my new insurance co to pay for a "pre-existing" condition? i believe it would. i'd check with HR or call your company insurance if you're more comfortable with that approach..I feel so all alone sometimes, I don't know exactly what to do anymore or where to turn. I keep reading and trying to educate myself and
you know what - I'm gonna stop right there, I can't make excuses - perhaps it is only that I am afraid to go deeper. it is very scary looking at things that have emotionally traumatized us. with a trusted professional they would carefully pace you rather than attacking everything at once. you're fragile and a qualifid person would understand that.I do need help and I can't do this alone anymore. that is good, healthy progress, VOC.
I don't want to die this way - that's my biggest fear is that I will die without knowing real joy. You got me sobbing...I think it really may be time for me to start doing some ground work to re-establish some "T" time.
J
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j, you can know real joy and be free of this bondage imposed on you as a child. it will take time but i'm glad you are willing to take the risk of getting help. that takes courage! my T once told me how brave i was. i didn't feel brave at all..very low self image, if at all. he said, you've decided to delve deeper within yourself, get through this, and come out on the other side free of these experiences that have so deeply scarred you. my experience getting help enabled me to have a life-a good life at that. i so wish the same for you. you deserve a good life filled with joyful things. i am hopeful for you. you are braver and more courageous than you realize taking this step. if you don't feel the connection with a T, move on to another one. it is important it is a good match for you. it's important you feel safe.
hope you will keep us posted on your progress.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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