Sounds like a rough time for you, please remember you have a huge stressor "college", plus sounds like high expectations for yourself. Any time you have suicidal ideas you need to seek help, whether you want it or not. Don't let other define you who you are. Believe in yourself. Your smart enough to search things out. Do you have a pdoc or therapist? Might be helpfull just to talk about your stressors ...etc...

I'm not going to agree with either side or idea that you have as I don't know you and writings can be so focused that they leave out the little details that can mean a lot. Athough from ur writing, asperger syndrom doesn't seem to fit at all. Asperger is a more mono tone personality which even during what you conceder you depression stage, there isnt a mono tone behavior, but more of an agressive - anger type symptoms. The manic part of BP is a very disorganized time, sounds like your achv many tasks with ease. I would more apt to believe your just a bit proud of yourself and push yourself harder.

It's very hard to diagnose bi-polar as many times it takes years for a full cycle to present itself. It's possible you set your expectation so high that you wear yourself out, fallling into depression.

Your taking on a LOT of responsibilities at college, home, work...etc....spend more time patting yourself on the back, a lot of people couldnt achv what you have done is such a short time. (manic or not).

Wishing you well balanced energies. Feel free to private chat if you want to talk more.

Kymaro