Being Bi-polar, parinoid or depressed is not who you are....its what is happing to you right now. Parinoid can be experienced whether your manic or depressed. Or even when your neither. Sometime we just over analyze things to much. I am a perfectionist at doing that. Please talk to your T about this. It doesnt sound like your in any danger of harming yourself or others and you seem in touch with reality, so it would be rare to hospitalize you for these feelings.

A lot of times, comming out of the hospital leaves a self-doubt (who am I, who was I, am I really who I think I am, where did I miss what was going on...etc.) It may be that your experiencing this.

Dont feel guilty for calling the hubby and just telling him "I love you, just wanted you to know". Im sure he will enforce the truth about coming home after work. I've used that myself for reasurance.

As for the placebo medication idea - medications work to a degree but you have to believe they are going to work to get the real effect of the medication. Have faith in your pdoc. He's not out to get you, as no one else is either.

Best of energies your way.....Kymaro