Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
I'm working towards getting back to writing my book....and one topic was something that I wanted to share here and get some different perspectives and feedback on.
Here's the initial summary of what I wrote:
"The idea of admitting my secrets produces such shame and leaves me too vulnerable to attack by others. A high sensitivity emerges from such disclosures, and helps elicit such an incredible array of emotions. Fear of judgment, rejection, lonliness. Shame, embarrassment, disappointment. Admitting the secrets also adds a layer of guilt and betrayal. Admission also helps the events seem more real. If it's only real in my own mind and body, does it exist? Only to me and those involved. Once the secrets are revealed, you can never, ever, ever take them back. The risks seem so huge to the one carrying them. To me."
This takes me back to group T...and how I have such a difficult time sharing in group.....
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Wow, that's exactly what I'm going through now. My appt. with T is next Friday and I've agreed to share my secret but I keep having second thoughts. All of those emotions are in my body -fear of judgment, rejection, loneliness, shame, embarrassment. I was even thinking today that by revealing am I adding fuel to the fire?
I discussed it with my T. Told her that once it's out I can never go back. That she will despise me. She assured me that she wouldn't. Then she asked if anyone else in the world had done such a thing. I said, sure - but that's them, not me.
But, I believe now, with my study of buried emotions, that it is the healthy thing to do - share with my T. Also, the latest issue of the magazine Shambala Sun has some wonderful articles that really hit home to me in their March issue. Thich Nhat Hanh writes about how to heal the wounded child within us. Pema Chodron talks about fear. Both articles have been very helpful to me as I face self-disclosure and all the emotions that will rise up.
Good insight you have there.
I know I would never be able to share in group.