My reaction to your post is that when it hurts and when you hate it, I can tell it's real change and real work. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Sorry. just it's better than the alternative.

I wonder if your t has to make an effort to take care of himself so he can take care of you. I mean, it might be hard for him to not be there on the weekends for you.

You're not too "needy, crazy", etc.... you're incredibly supportive of everyone on PC and incredibly intelligent and self aware.