notablackbarbie,

I hear the not wanting to "think positive" anymore. Sometime I just get so tired of that... I am also struggling with feeling really really small, wanting to take up as little room as possible. You know that idea, though, that depression is anger turned inward? My T is always asking, could this be anger? Anger so deep that you think it could tear everything apart so you turn it inward toward yourself? What if it is REALLY INTENSE ANGER that is totally justified. You don't deserve to have it turned back on you. You have a right to your emotions. You are not bad. You are human, you are important, you are working on yourself which shows strength and responsibility.
I just got this book and have found it somewhat helpful... I have been looking at books about shame/guilt too but they all seem to be missing something. Idk.

http://www.amazon.com/Dance-Anger-Ch...9383022&sr=1-1