Firstly: all of the mess i vomited on here has typos. What a f@<kup i am.

Secondly, to all of you here on PC: i must be as blind as a bat = wtf are you all seeing and what am i missing for you to respond in these ways ^^? Why are you not disgusted or irritated or repulsed by me? And i just remember now that before leaving work yesterday getting a group hug from the children. Because...??...they dont know how to see me as bad yet and i shouldnt contaminate them further by being in their presence...

Thirdly, hating me makes the most sense because i am stupid in too many ways. I am stupid at home, at school, at work, while traveling, and in each day to day moment. I am stupid because of all i do, all i dont do, and how slow and behind i am compared to others. I am stupid with my selfishness, dreams, worries, fears, hesitations, guilt, and shame. I can never do or be enough. I hate me because i am a hopeless and worthless waste.