Hi, and welcome to the forums!

The answer to this would be simple for me, but there might be a hundred reasons why it won't work for you. If the boys won't talk to you, and your boyfriend won't help initiate a conversation about it, then stop cleaning up after them. You're nobody's slave. Just tell them straight and to the point, if they can't help you out by picking up after themselves, then they can start doing all their housework themselves. This is just total disrespect in my eyes and you don't deserve to be treated that way.

Like I said, there may be a lot of reasons why you can't to this, but It's the only thing that comes to mind right now. You deserve to be treated with respect. I hope you start getting some very soon.

All my best,
bp

"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance."