I was friends with this one girl since September 2010 and she asked me to go out with her as her girlfriend in December. She had just gotten over self harming like, a week before, and she really liked me, and I didn't want to hurt her by saying no. At the time I thought I might feel something back for her, but I think my mind was making it up.

But I can tell now that the emotions were fake because I don't love her that way. I love her as a friend, but I don't know how to tell her that. I'm scared she'll go back to self harming. I self harm so I know what it is and what it does and I don't want her to go back to it because of me. I feel awful for starting in it, because I wasn't sure and I should've said no at the beginning, and I don't know what to do now. I don't want to break up with her because I'm scared she'll go back to self harming, but I can't keep living a lie 24/7, and I'm in love with a different girl who I've been in love with since August (even though she said no every time I asked her to go out with me...so I thought I had stopped loving her). I just don't know what to do. I don't want to cause her any pain. I'm her first girlfriend, and I don't want to be someone who just blows someone else off. I don't know what to do!!!???